Furry Bitterness

Today, let's talk about bitterness.

Each of us has a moment that provides us with an opportunity to feel loved or betrayed. For example, you're driving down the road and your car gets a flat tire. For a fleeting moment many of us wonder if the universe is conspiring against us. It happens. Your tire going flat may have been nothing more than a stray screw lying in the road. It may have been a little more expected because you knew that your tread was worn down but you can't afford new tires. Whatever the underlying reason you suddenly feel that the timing was cosmically bad and you think to yourself, "This couldn't happen at a worse possible time."

Stop right there.

What makes you think that there's any timing involved, at all? Because you need to get where you're going? You have more important things to take care of than that person behind you who may have ended up with the screw in their tire?

In that moment you have an opportunity to think to yourself, "I'm glad that I'm the one that got the screw because it could have been worse. I can handle this. The universe knew that." You then have a chance to just deal with the problem, whether that means changing the tire, quickly, and getting back on the road or calling for help (if you have a handy friend or relative or some kind of "roadside assistance service").

Personally, I've spent too much energy and time looking at these kinds of situations and thinking to myself, "This couldn't suck any worse. I deserve better." That kind of resentment leads to a bitterness that makes me sad and angry. I don't want to do that any more, do you?

Bitterness is a habitual pattern. What do I mean? I will explain.

We have two new female kittens in our family, now. They're both very cute and, like all kittens can be, are fairly constantly asking for attention. One, the little black kitten I mentioned in my previous post, jumps in my lap and starts pawing at my face and hands, nibbling and generally acting a little crazy. The other, a younger fluffy grey kitten, is currently sitting in my lap, as I write this, purring loudly and "kneeding" me with her paws. They both want the same thing, affection. However, because of their differences in how they ask for it my reaction can vary. If I'm in a particularly good mood, I'll generally give them a scratch, stroke them and show them some attention. If I do that, their reactions are the same. They purr, calm down and probably fall asleep in my lap. It's sublime. However, if I'm not in a particularly good mood then the black kitty will usually irritate me and I'll dump her on the floor. That's not her fault, it's mine. If that happens over and over then I can become bitter towards her. I allow a pattern to develop that can ruin the moment.

Many of the situations in our lives are like that. If the situation is gentle to us we're gentle back. If it is harsh with us we respond in kind. However, we have an opportunity to provide the same response to both kinds of situations and get a memorable and sublime result.

Today, I encourage all of you to look at just one seemingly negative incident as a little black kitten. Ridiculous as it sounds, it may help you take a different perspective and treat the situation with a measure of tenderness that will get you a significantly different outcome, both emotionally and practically.

You may find that you start doing it enough to develop a pattern. Won't that be nice?

Love and light, dear ones. Here's my quote for the day. It's from Mother Theresa and is perfecty appropriate.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world."

Welcome to The Quantum Temple

I have a kitten asleep on my left shoulder. The head, shoulder and arms of a black kitten, to be exact, and the rest of her is stretched out on top of the couch cushion behind and next to me. Some of you are thinking to yourself, "aw, how cute." The rest of you, who are thinking, "grow a pair, chief, you're getting soft in your old age" can kiss my ass. If you could hear the purr that's rumbling in my ear, at this very moment, you'd be joining the first group. For a minute, I closed my eyes and was able to simply be in the moment. I'm so grateful for that.

Events in our lives don't have to be momentous in order to be appreciated. Everyone can look back on a moment in time, that may or may not precede or follow a momentous event, and think to yourself, "I wish it had lasted forever." It's those forever moments that we truly live for, not the adrenaline rush that accompanies a frenzy of activity or the lethargy that we experience when our resources are all used up. However brief, we all appreciate true serenity.

Don't believe me? Look at advertising. Television ads abound that show a woman sitting alone at a small table with half a bagel lathered with cream cheese, a half cup of coffee steaming next to it with the morning paper folded in half next to it. She leans forward, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, savoring the... whatever, and is prepared to face a wonderful day. Or what about the ads where a man stands at the top of the mountain that he's just climbed. He closes his eyes and you can see how the setting sun warms his face as he smiles. Then they throw in a comment about erectile dysfunction and ruin the whole scene, for those of us surprised by that kind of thing, but you get the picture.

Serenity doesn't come during moments of stress or heightened states of anxiety. Neither does it happen when we're feeling particularly melancholy or downright sad. It happens at unexpectedly mediocre times when we have little to worry about, even less to get excited about and we have time to look around and appreciate our immediate environment. People used to love saying, "stop and smell the roses" but never slow down long enough to do so.

Henry David Thoreau, while walking through his beloved Walden Woods, understood this fact, perfectly.

"If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day, he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer. But if he spends his days as a speculator, shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time, he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen."

I have started this blog because I find myself appreciating the fine line I ride between extremes. To me, all of life is a paradox. It is both good and bad, light and dark, happy and sad, altogether. The amazing thing is that the blacks and whites only blend into greys when I'm standing too far back or moving too fast to appreciate the details. If I take the time to stop, lean forward and concentrate on a tiny moment I notice breathtakingly beautiful patterns and designs I would otherwise have missed. I am learning to take that and share it. So, welcome to The Quantum Temple, where I hope to help all of you zoom in on those wonderful moments and help them to last a long, long time.